LOOR is, maybe, what I’ve been looking for. It’s Christian, that much is clear, but it’s looking to be more Babylon Bee and Narnia than PureFlix. I added my name as a creator, but I’m scared to pitch any of my ideas, not least of all because…I have no scripts for my ideas for visual media.

I have ideas! They are very cool! They contain Christian values, but they are not, uh, the squeaky clean yet wacky sort of American evangelical thing I fear LOOR may want. I’m Catholic, and while I have many “trad” sympathies…the most meaningful Mass I ever attended was celebrated on a muddy field with a plastic table for an altar. No beautiful murals or arches or Latin. I was in combat boots and uniform that never fit (seriously, I always looked ridiculous in uniform, I’m too short and small for any size they make and I have Merida’s hair but not red).

Also, hmm…I appreciate LOOR’s playfulness, but their email updates are frankly way to political. Every damn thing is partisan and that’s not what I want. I get hating Hollywood.

However, hating them does not build audiences. It definitely does not make good movies or shows. It’s just comes across as more preachy stuff like PureFlix or the reams of bad Christian animation. Maybe it’s just a thing for investors. But it throws me off.

I’ll never be a part of any in-crowd; the only place where I fit in is the Catholic Church, where saints are mothers and warrior women, nuns and wives, from all over the world, doing all sorts of things in holy ways- and with a good deal of common sense. (A paraphrase of St. Teresa of Avila, IIRC: “Yes yes, the young nun is having visions. Has she eaten anything recently?”). There’s no hope for me to have a big break. It’s all who you know in the entertainment world now and for a long time. But is the likes of LOOR a serious alternative?

I don’t want to write because I have something great to say; I want to write because I have a gift and I have fun and occasionally beautiful ideas to share. I don’t want to write just for churchgoers (the world of the Paladin Trilogy is pagan, after all; no doubt this would scandalize many of my fellow believers). If it’s part of my purpose on Earth to write, it’s because it’s part of my purpose on Earth to make wise and good and beautiful use of my talents.

I’m so sick of politics in everything you wouldn’t believe it. I watch stupid movie reviews or gameplay snippets and turn them off at the first hint of getting into that muck. I’m tired. I shrug off my personal anger and old spite like a too-heavy burden and feel only relived, not refreshed. The whole world is howling in despair and rage. It’s all so childish, too; a world run by children’s tantrums, unserious about serious things and serious about unserious things.

I fear LOOR is only joining the chorus. I don’t know why I bemoan this; it’s not like I’ve got scripts to pitch anyway, just ideas for ones.

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