Pour some Rudolphtinis, spike some hot chocolate, or go the easy route of the writer and keep a bottle of wine on hand. It’s time (past time, really) for my Hallmark Christmas movie drinking game.

I warn you, if you follow all of these, you won’t last long.

Take a drink if you see/hear:

  • No one wearing the winter clothing appropriate to the alleged location/weather
  • Developers
  • Layoffs
  • Business trip
  • Snowed-in
  • No flights available
  • Road trip
  • Lead is a single parent
  • Chicago
  • New York
  • Heavily decorated home/workplace
  • Someone works for/owns/ has a friend or relative who owns/works for a Christmas related business
  • One of the leads is a hardened businessperson
  • One of the leads is a teacher or otherwise works a lot with children
  • Royalty
  • Takes place in a small quaint town
  • One or both of the leads has a Christmas-y name (Nick, Holly, etc.)
  • Scene at a Christmas tree farm (only one drink if that is the main setting)
  • At least one of the leads has lost the Christmas spirit due to some prior heartbreak or tragedy
  • Christmas deadline
  • Down on its luck small business or non-profit
  • The Christmas traditional event must be saved!
  • The lead’s child’s other parent is MIA and not mentioned
    Elderly relative
    Snowball fight
    Christmas tree lighting
    Christmas pageant
    Ice skating
    Boss pulls a Scrooge
    Heartfelt chat in cold weather with no sign of being cold
    Alleged wisdom from the mouths of babes (actually boilerplate you see on decorations at Target)
    Winter/Christmas ball
    Country in Europe with English as the native language and looks like a fairytale

Take two drinks if:

  • Faded TV star appearance
    Weird coincidences that might be magic
    Santa is proven real
    Animals with Christmas names
    Country that ends in -via

Drain your glass if:

  • TV star you know from stuff you like is a lead
    Elderly relative dies
    The birth of Jesus is mentioned

You were warned.

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