Pour some Rudolphtinis, spike some hot chocolate, or go the easy route of the writer and keep a bottle of wine on hand. It’s time (past time, really) for my Hallmark Christmas movie drinking game.

I warn you, if you follow all of these, you won’t last long.

Take a drink if you see/hear:

• No one wearing the winter clothing appropriate to the alleged location/weather
• Developers
• Layoffs
• Business trip
• Snowed-in
• No flights available
• Road trip
• Lead is a single parent
• Chicago
• New York
• Heavily decorated home/workplace
• Someone works for/owns/ has a friend or relative who owns/works for a Christmas related business
• One of the leads is a hardened businessperson
• One of the leads is a teacher or otherwise works a lot with children
• Royalty
• Takes place in a small quaint town
• One or both of the leads has a Christmas-y name (Nick, Holly, etc.)
• Scene at a Christmas tree farm (only one drink if that is the main setting)
• At least one of the leads has lost the Christmas spirit due to some prior heartbreak or tragedy
• Christmas deadline
• Down on its luck small business or non-profit
• The Christmas traditional event must be saved!
• The lead’s child’s other parent is MIA and not mentioned

Elderly relative

Snowball fight

Christmas tree lighting

Christmas pageant

Ice skating

Boss pulls a Scrooge

Heartfelt chat in cold weather with no sign of being cold

Alleged wisdom from the mouths of babes (actually boilerplate you see on decorations at Target)

Winter/Christmas ball

Country in Europe with English as the native language and looks like a fairytale

Take two drinks if:

• Faded TV star appearance

Weird coincidences that might be magic

Santa is proven real

Animals with Christmas names

Country that ends in -via

Drain your glass if:

• TV star you know from stuff you like is a lead

Elderly relative dies

Sequel

The birth of Jesus is mentioned

You were warned.